Gas, Gas, Gas! Alexia LaFata
There is no one better to follow up the How to Write series than Alexia LaFata. The Senior SEO Manager at Vox Media (and my former work wife at Elite Daily) is getting ready to launch her very first book, She Used to Be Nice, on August 12.
Alexia is proof that your passion for writing, even if it’s just something you do after work (okay, and into the wee hours of the morning), can blossom into a very real and groundbreaking piece of fiction that can soon be found in bookstores across the country.
She Used to Be Nice, which you can preorder now, is racking up early 5-star reviews for its deep, raw, emotional, and realistic storyline. “I'm grateful for the positive reviews,” says Alexia. “This book is about a very intense topic: A victim of sexual assault and her navigating that trauma. But, I really see it as a young college graduate in that second coming-of-age era after just graduating. You have to define who you are as an adult in the real world, and I hope that broad appeal will connect with people.”
Watch our full Gas! Gas! Gas! interview above to hear these highlights:
Alexia explains her first book-publishing experience, what’s changing in digital media from her seat at the frontlines, and her advice for any other writer out there.
On her dream to write fiction:
“I was seven years old and writing my first fiction piece, and knew that I wanted to be an author. When I started writing and editing for work when I graduated college, I didn’t know that that was something I could make a career out of until I actually did it. And then I was like, ‘Wow, you can get paid for your words. That's very cool.’ It felt a little bit like a dream. Once that reality was established, writing fiction became an ‘on the side’ thing. I like that my job now is not in editing or writing exactly—it's adjacent to it— because all of that creative writing brain space I can put into these side projects.
On her inspiration for She Used to Be Nice:
I had so many starts and stops with this book and other books I’ve tried. One day, I said, ‘Enough bullshit, pick an idea and commit to it.’ Then, I didn't look back. I wrote every day, even if it was just a little. Often, I would write very deep into the night because I was finally writing the thing that I hoped would be something.”
With She Used to Be Nice, I knew I wanted to write about the really big women's issue of the moment: #metoo. Beyond just the cultural conversation, I also connected to what was happening in my and my friends’ experiences with men across the entire spectrum of unwanted sexual encounters—everything from catcalling in the street to actual sexual assault. That entire range was, I hate to say it, a core part of growing up as a young woman... The drive to tell that story never went away, and it was the engine behind me wanting to keep writing every day. ‘I have this story in me. I have something I want to say.’
I also wanted to write about a character whose trauma response is hypersexuality. I was a sex and dating editor, so I always thought the psychology of sex and the power dynamics of it were fascinating. I wanted to explore that in fun and nuanced ways. The biggest way is through Avery, the main character, and how she uses sex to take back her power. I thought that was very interesting psychologically. I know so many Averys, and I didn't see them reflected in books or media.
So often, ideas don't stick. But when you have one that sticks, you're like, ‘My god.’ You can't not write it. It's like a calling in a way.”
On her book publishing process:
It’s been such a long journey to bring this book to life. I started querying (looking for an agent to represent me) a long time ago. There's no secret to querying. It's truly just cold emailing agents with your pitch and hoping for the best. You have to really believe in what you're doing because you could be writing a book for years and get no agent. There's no promise at the end of it…
I was watching my friends get book deals who started so long after me. I was like ‘What's happening?’ But everyone's journey is so different. There's no norm.
I lived alone for six or seven years, which probably helped me do this, because no one was waiting for me on the couch to watch television or hang out. I could just disappear into my hole, which not everyone has the luxury to do. I'm really grateful for those years.”
On her job as Senior SEO Manager at Vox Media:
“It's my job to make sure that when you Google something, one of the publications that I work for shows up. That's as succinct as I can put it without any technical jargon.
I started doing SEO for New York Magazine, and then it was bought by Vox Media, then Vox Media bought Group Nine. We added more and more brands and then recently decentralized, so now my focus is just on The Verge and Polygon. It shifts depending on the needs of the teams.”
On SEO and how it’s evolving right now:
“Google has definitely changed, and the way that people get information is changing. You mentioned AI. Google is constantly running experiments with it now. The way I frame it is that there are things about this whole changing ecosystem that we have control over, and things we don't… I just tell everybody to focus on creating good quality, helpful content so that, when we do show up in search results, wherever it is, we are a brand that is able to rank because we have such good content and people want to click on it. We can't get all upset about the lack of visibility, because there are still places where we can be visible—it's just less of them. So, where we can show up, we need to show up. That means putting our best content foot forward.”
Where she gets creative inspo:
“The authors that I'm friends with: Zara Barrie, Hannah Orenstein, Candice Jalili. I can talk to them about creative woes, and they're really helpful for me as a first line of brainstorming.
Also, just observing life helps me get in a creative mindset. If I'm attuned to a conversation that's happening between strangers or friends, I wonder, ‘What does that say about the broader world we live in? How is this conversation making me feel?’
Or, any nugget that I can take from my life. I try to figure out a way to let it inspire me creatively. I used to write from very personal experience for the Internet, and it's kind of the same idea with fiction, except, obviously, it's fiction. But, you're Frankensteining real life.
Sometimes, just taking a walk. Getting outside. Let me sit in that park and look at some trees and get inspiration from the birds. I don't know, it’s a cliché, but it's true.”
Her advice for others:
“Go for what you want and commit to yourself, because when you work toward a goal, it shows that you have your own back. You're not going to let yourself down; you're not going to sacrifice what you want for anything. Even if you have to temporarily miss hanging out with your friends, do that, and you will thank yourself in the long run.
Obviously, life is about balance, but sometimes, when you have a full-time job and you really want to get somewhere creatively, you have to follow the creative thread wherever it leads you. You may not always feel that inspiration, so when it comes up organically, that’s when you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world. Just follow that feeling and let it guide you. Don’t ignore it. Don't be like, ‘I'll get to it later. I want to be lazy on the couch, or I want to go out to this bar with my friends.’ No. If you're feeling the pull, do it.
Also, stay open-minded. I didn't know that SEO was a thing until I got knee-deep in media. I was always somebody who thought maybe I’d be an editor forever, but using another part of my brain every day helps open up space for creativity later in my side job of writing fiction. Just be open to where the wind takes you, but don't lose sight of what you really want at the end of the day.”
How you can support her:
“Definitely order the book, and follow me on Instagram, @alexialafata_ [editor’s note: her Instagram handle is incorrect in the video above. Oops.]. I’m celebrating the book launch on Tuesday, August 12, at The Corner Bookstore in NYC at 6 pm, and on August 17 at Barnes & Noble in Freehold, NJ, at 2 pm.
Afterward, I’ll just try to remain grateful and stay excited. More attention means more possibility of negative reviews. It's like, ‘Stay grateful, don't worry.’ The work is the work, and I'm proud of this book, no matter what happens.”
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